Being a pastor’s wife is a unique calling — one that’s often misunderstood, underestimated, and rarely spoken about with honesty. Behind the scenes of church potlucks and Sunday smiles are real women carrying the invisible weight of expectations, pressures, and emotional strain.
Statistics paint a sobering picture: over 80% of pastors’ wives feel unappreciated or unacknowledged for their role in the church. Many report experiencing loneliness, depression, or anxiety, and more than half say the ministry has negatively impacted their family. Marital tension is common, not because of a lack of love, but because of the unrelenting demands of ministry life.
I know this firsthand. Raising kids in the church felt like living in a fishbowl — every parenting decision on display, every behavior scrutinized. I was expected to be everywhere, do everything, and possess specific gifts, simply because of my husband’s title. People often forgot that the man behind the pulpit was my husband. When they criticized “the pastor,” they didn’t realize they were talking about the love of my life.
I reached a point where I wanted to leave long before my husband did. Not because I lacked faith, but because I was tired. Tired of gossip. Tired of being discounted. Tired of smiling when my heart was breaking.
That’s why I now serve with Standing Stone. I’ve sat across from too many women silently carrying the same pain I once did. But we’re seeing transformation — women finding their voices, opening up, and finally having a safe place to share their hearts. This ministry offers more than encouragement; it offers hope. A lifeline.
The role of a pastor’s wife isn’t about perfection. It’s about presence — showing up, loving faithfully, and finding strength in God when everything else feels fragile. If we want to see healthy pastors, we must also care for their wives. Their stories matter. Their hearts matter.
And now, more than ever, they need to know they are not alone.
If you or someone you know is struggling under the weight of ministry, we want you to know—you are not alone. We are here to walk with you, because healthy leaders build healthy churches, and the Kingdom depends on both.
Are You a Ministry Leader in Need of Care?
We are able to provide pastoral care to ministry leaders and their spouses at no cost through the generous support of our Financial Support Team. We would be honored if you helped us continue our ministry through your financial support. Click the link to join our Financial Support Team.
